Thinking about entering the escort biz? The job has a lot of pros: flexible hours, you can be your own boss, potentially very good money and an opportunity to provide companionship to those in need. As with all professions, it also has its cons: the escort industry can be closely associated with drug abuse, sometime you’ll have shitty clients, in many places it is illegal.
This is not a job that one just dives into blindly. Providing people with intimate company can take its toll on the mind and body, it isn’t for everyone. Doing this gig long term requires you to be tough on the inside, independent, yet sensitive enough to pick up on the needs and moods of your clients.
So, what do escorts actually do?
Well, whatever you are prepared to sell really. Someone will always be willing to buy what you are selling; it’s all about marketing and reaching the right client pool. Escorts are NOT prostitutes. Prostitutes are crack whores on the street who rent their orifices for kicks. Escorts provide classier, discrete, personalised services to clients, not unlike a Geisha. Sometimes you will be required to go out with your clients to events. You will need to be well groomed and apt to playing the role of a charismatic and fun date. Of course sex is commonly part of the deal, but being an escort is more about being an intimate companion, creating the right atmosphere and attending to your client’s needs. The escort business is different for men and women escorts. Men catering to women clients for example, are generally required to be dates to events and provide a ‘boyfriend’ type of experience. In contrast, women escorts serving men, can provide anything from straight up dirty jackhammer banging, to BDSM to weird bug fetishes. The needs of lonely men and women are very different. A great way to learn about what the job is like is to read up on other escort blogs. Thanks to the anonymity of the web, escorts can now connect freely and discuss the nature of their jobs openly. Even better, try to find blogs and forums based in your area so you can get a feel for the community.
Remember to take your time with this career decision, providing intimacy for a living can be a rough and dangerous ride.
Here are some questions to get you thinking:
Q: Agency vs being an independent escort?
Working for an agency or going independent do not have to be mutually exclusive, in some cases you can choose to be both.
As an independent escort you get to make all the rules. What you do, when you do it and how often. But, as a solo operator you will not receive any health coverage or benefits. You also won’t have your own muscle to protect you, unless you hire some out privately, and this can be expensive. Another drawback is that agencies screen customers for you, weeding the freaks out of the client pool. You will need to build up your own client base, which can be a lot of work. In this case the internet is a fundamental tool. Get out there and create profiles on sites that support independent escorts. Blog your photos, experiences and skills to the world and reap the rewards.
Agencies on the other hand provide their escorts with a platform on which to present their skills and profile directly to a client base. Working for an agency means you may need to work shifts and adhere to their policies on appearance and behaviour towards clients. A good agency will treat you as a commodity, you will receive health benefits, protection and your clients will be screened for you.
Escorts are expected to ooze cool and sex appeal with style and class. You will be expected to go out to events and public spaces with clients. This requires an independent and confident person who can excel socially. It ain’t easy being charming and emotionally sensitive. Emotional and sexual insight come at a price. If you overwork yourself you will become emotionally and physically drained. It is important to balance your work schedule.
Successful escorts tend to be single, social butterflies living on their own. Having a relationship and practicing as an escort is an emotionally intensive balancing act that most cannot handle in the long term.
A good escort can read their clients, picking up subliminal needs and desires. You want to be able to make your clients feel comfortable and relaxed. Contented clients that you click with will provide the basis for long lasting professional relationships.
Set clear boundaries
Before you start, sit down and decide what you are willing to do with punters and how much that is worth. As an independent escort you are free to decide on your own, an agency may require that you offer a certain ‘menu’ of activities. It’s always best that you hold your own and stick to what you are prepared to do regardless. It’s not going to cost you business, there are lonely people everywhere.
Q: Are you willing to have sex without a condom?
Q: Can you handle group sex?
Q: Are you willing to do call-ins to your home or go out to a client’s home?
Q: Will you swallow?
Q: Is anal okay?
Remember that you dictate the tone of the session and will be done. Do not let punters or pimps push you around. Be firm, but not aggressive when asserting your boundaries. Try not to piss off or offend the client, you still want him to have a good time.
There may be some sexual or intimate acts that are personal for you and that you do not want to do with clients and those that are okay. Kissing is an example of an act many escorts won’t do because of the intimacy they associate with it.
Body and appearance
Along with your charming personality, a bodacious bod is must. Escorts need to be well kept and groomed. Like a dancer or an athlete you need to keep your body healthy and in shape to fend of injuries and illnesses. As an escort you will come into close contact with other people and their bodily oozes, a healthy body and immune system will help keep you on point.
Find out how much it costs to keep you looking and feeling good. This is an important part of your budget.
One of the perks of being an escort is the unique opportunity it provides to explore your body and sexuality, to find out what you’re into and what you definitely are not.
Managing your personal relationships
The path of an escort can be lonely and isolated. Many escorts choose not to disclose their profession to close family and friends for fear of hurting them or being judged. It can also get in the way of romantic relationships as both your public and private lives require intimacy from you. It is important to decide how you will manage your personal relationships, who you will tell and who you won’t. Be honest with yourself and stick to your guns. Be prepared for the haters out there, and ignore those fucking hypocrites.
It is recommended you tell someone you know well and trust about your job. People need to talk about their day jobs. The internet is a great place to connect with peers anonymously, but sometimes you need to talk face to face. If you cannot risk exposing yourself to your family or friends, think about seeing a shrink every now and again to purge and rant about what is going on in your life.
What kind of clients to expect
The largest client base for both men and women escorts is married men. They will make up about 80% of your customers. Most of these men are normal, just lonely and feel sexually marginalised. They are concerned with discretion and privacy not for fear of their bosses or peers finding out, but because they want to protect their families. On the upside, married men tend to be more inclined to talking and foreplay and in bed. It makes your life easier if you can enjoy the sex too. There will be clients that you instantly dislike and just want to get it over and done with. He might be rude, or push you to something you are uncomfortable with. Putting up with assholes isn’t worth the money. There will always be more punters. These are the ones you will want to avoid seeing more than once. You don’t want to have to avoid looking at the clock on the wall to stop yourself from counting the minutes. Many clients want more than just sex, a bit of cuddling, maybe a meal and some conversation.
Benefits of being an escort
Every job has it perks, these are some of the perks of being an escort:
- Reasonable money
- Flexible hours
- Dating/sexing with no strings attached
- You are paid to look your best, your sexiest and be pampered
- It might help boost your confidence about your body and sexuality
- You may feel empowered
- You may feel contentment in providing people with intimacy.
BE SAFE – this cannot be emphasized enough in SA
You are in a line of work where you meet up with strangers and getting intimate, this means you are putting your health and physical safety at high risk.
Be mindful of all the tsotsis and perverts out there, you need to screen your clients. Talk to other escorts that might have seen a client before to get the low down on how dodgy he is.
Men don’t like condoms. Full stop. In general they will try to wangle out of using protection. South Africa is riddled with diseases and the chauvinistic dicks that carry them. Don’t be meek and put yourself at risk unnecessarily. If you want him to wear protection be firm, tell him nicely with a twinkle in your eye. Remember , you are a professional with a reputation to protect.
Always make sure that someone know where you are, who you are with and how long you will be. Make sure you have muscle on stand-by in case things get out of hand.
GET TESTED REGULARLY
Be screened for STDs every 8 weeks and make sure to use some form of birth control. Escorts, particularly those who practice condom-free sex and anal sex, are urged to take preventive ARVs. However, ARVs take their toll on the body and most people have to take time off to recover from them.
Be money-wise. Prostitution is illegal in SA, but not being an escort. Either way it’s the money-for-sex bit that will land you in jail. Money for services rendered should never transfer actual hands. Make sure that you do not take or receive any money directly from the client. If the client seems dodgy, ask him if he is a cop. He is legally obligated to tell you if he is.
Be organised. Tell the client beforehand where they should place your fee and you can collect it after the session. Do not talk about sex and money plainly on the phone or internet. Use coded language to disguise your services. Common acronyms and phrases include: BBBJ (oral sex without a condom), CBJ (oral sex with a condom), GFE (girlfriend experience.
Cash is rapidly becoming an out-dated method of payment. This is crappy for you as an escort because electronic payments leave paper trails, so be very cautious. There are several apps on your phone that you can use to transfer money safely online such as PayPal, Square and Payment Pebble.
Making money as an escort
The general impression of the escort biz is that it’s good pay for a quick ol’ in-and-out. In reality the pay is okay for a full time job and good for a part time job. Only the bright young things in high society get paid millions to spend time with the social elite. So, just like any job you need to manage your money well to turn it into something sustainable.
Money Management: Blogging
Today, having an online profile is a must, must, must. You’ll want to create a spicy, erotic profile that will attract the punters. Regardless of whether you work for an agency or go independent, you will want to maximise the traffic and sharing on your website by using catch phrases that will prioritise the ranking of your site, this is called Search Engine Optimisation. The web gives you the advantage of reaching a large client pool from the comfort of your own home. BUT, there are sick fucks predators out there waiting to take advantage of people on the web. Make sure not to use your real name, address or mention anything specific that could lead cops or strangers to you. Aside from building a client-base, blogging your experiences can be cathartic and therapeutic.
Money Management: Pricing
Deciding how much to charge for your services is not an easy one. You don’t want to under-price yourself that people think you are desperate. Or over-price yourself right out of the market. Lying about your skills or services will give you a bad rep, so try to be honest. As an independent escort you can set your own price, but agency escorts tend to work within agency rates.
Once you set your price, know that you cannot ever lower it. Dropping your price or throwing a vaginal clearance sale is seen by clients as a drop in your personal value, poor services or desperation. As you gain experience and a good reputation over time you can start upping your fees. Avoid posting your fees up online. Rather send them to clients via private messaging upon request.
Money Management: Banking
It’s harder than you think to avoid drawing prying eyes to your banking habits.
* Don’t deposit more than R10 000 in one go.
-Also, do not try to divide a large some into several smaller sums to be deposited. Banks can pick up on that.
* Try to get an account that is not interest bearing, so it won’t get taxed.
* You might want to use a private financial institution instead of a bank; they tend to ask fewer questions.
- Avoid getting into a regular banking routine.
- Enlist for multiple accounts at different institutions to spread small amounts of money around in different places.
- Vary your deposit types; cash, cheque, internet transfer etc.
- Look like the amount of money in your bank account, not the cash in your mattress.
- ATMs that allow you to deposit cash 24/7 are pretty handy.
Money Management: Budget
Whatever you are entering the escort game for, be it paying off school fees, debts or just a good pay check, creating and sticking to a budget is important. Practicing a trade that is in a legal grey area also means that you have to be careful about leaving a paper trail and evading the tax man. Having a cover job can really help you out in this respect. If you don’t want to use the bank, make sure to keep your money somewhere safe and secret that you can access in the case of an emergency. Below are some suggestions as to how to divide up that stash.
Divide your money up into:
- Appearance – Gym, yoga, hair, nails, tan, outfits
- Expenses – Rent, insurance, bills etc.
- Savings – Try to aim to save 30 % of your income
- Self -marketing and -advertising – Agency fees, blogging, advertising, keeping up-to-date